I stepped outside just as the sun was starting to set.
It was one of those quiet moments that almost doesn’t feel real. The kind you don’t plan for. You just happen to be there when it unfolds.
The sky slowly shifted from light to dark.
Clouds went from white… to orange… to deep red… and then almost purple.
It was peaceful in a way I don’t experience very often.
I leaned against the wall and just stood there.
No distractions.
No noise.
Just the stillness of the moment.
And then I had a thought.
It would be really nice to share this with someone.
To lean back into them…
to feel their arms around me…
to rest my head against their chest while we just stood there together.
Nothing big.
Nothing dramatic.
Just… connection.
I stayed out there a little longer, holding onto that feeling.
And then I went back inside.
He was in the same place I had left him.
Same position.
Same focus.
Still on his phone.
He didn’t look up when I walked in.
Didn’t say anything.
Didn’t even notice.
And for the first time… I realized something I wasn’t expecting.
I didn’t feel anything.
Not anger.
Not sadness.
Not even disappointment.
Just… nothing.
There was a time when that would have hurt.
A time when I would have questioned myself.
Wondered what I did wrong.
Tried harder to be seen.
But standing there, looking at him…
I didn’t feel that anymore.
And that scared me more than anything else.
Because feeling nothing means something has already ended.
This isn’t what a relationship is supposed to feel like.
This isn’t connection.
This isn’t partnership.
This isn’t living.
This is surviving.
Getting through the days.
Existing in the same space without actually sharing a life.
And I know now…
I deserve more than that.
Not perfection.
Not some unrealistic version of love.
But something real.
Something that feels like peace.
Like presence.
Like being seen.
Because moments like that sunset…
They’re meant to be shared.
And I don’t want to spend the rest of my life wishing I had someone to share them with.
After The Fog 
Leave a comment